Marie Taylor, Ink

I have always had a reputation of possessing a calm deposition and peaceful demeanor. You can imagine my chagrin (which has nothing to do with smiling) when I recently found myself in heated discussions with two friends.  To call them discussions is being disingenuous for my blood pressure was up, my face was pink and deep within my throat a growl was forming. At one point I was ready to push back the chair from the table and flounce (which combines fleeing and bouncing) out of the coffee shop.  

And the subjects of these two discussions? Why, religion and politics, of course, the two topics any wise hostess bans from the dinner table. In both cases these old friends slyly insinuated their favorite conversational hobby horses into our heretofore pleasant tete-a-tetes.

The religious conversation combined elements of both metaphysical New Agism and extreme left wing do-gooderism.  Now I have been at various times a New Ager and a do-gooder but that particular day I was not in the mood to defend unfounded positive thinking or naïve idealism. Alas, it was not to be. I would be convinced and converted, or else.

I noticed a triumphant look in my friend’s eye when a comment she made drew blood and I had heatedly responded. It was less a matter of principle than the desire to sharpen her wit on my whetstone.

When our coffee date was over, she told me how much she had enjoyed our stimulating afternoon. “People just don’t want to discuss anything important anymore. How can we make the world a better place without conversation?” I staggered to the car, vowing never to cross swords with her again – although on the way home I did come up with some real zingers that I stored for future encounters.

The second friend brought up the subject of gun control laws one day. He was strongly in favor of a total ban of weapons ownership while I posited that the crux of the issue was the mental instability of perpetrators. Before you could say ‘duck’ a ten-minute diatribe on weapons sales was underway.

I am still uncertain about both experiences. I do not like to argue. If two people have opposing or incompatible viewpoints, I am happy to put that topic aside in future conversations. Or, is that the coward’s way out? Am I afraid to disagree, or stand up for what I believe in? Or is it a matter of not wanting to take any position?

The older I get, the less I enjoy confrontation and the less certain I am that I am even partly right. I would like the world to be a kinder, gentler place but have no idea how to bring that about except in one’s personal life. I don’t believe that the government, religion, philosophy or science can save the world; in fact, it more often seems to befuddle it – which is a wonderful word that combines the dazzlement of being with the ambiguity of free will.

In the future I have decided to head off any controversial topics with a quick thrust. I now have a verbal riposte that will stealthily wait on the tip of my tongue, then strike deep – “Sez you!”